Dealing With Difficult People
We all have to deal with difficult people who are very good at derailing our best efforts, confounding what we say and challenging us at every opportunity.
But why? It doesn’t get them anything…or does it? Why are some people difficult?
The answer is simple:
- It works
- It satisfies
- It feels good
That’s it in a nutshell. If people are adverse to change, afraid to take risk, or view us as a competitor, they will throw out every roadblock they can.
Ambitious or aggressive colleagues, managers who are more interested in protecting their positions, or anyone who sees us as a challenge to their status quo could resort to being difficult people.
Then there are those who are simply poop disturbers (Sorry, this is a family newspaper); but they are a topic for another column.
Let’s be honest, we’re all difficult at times. We all have values and beliefs that are non-negotiable. We all have buttons that shouldn’t be pushed. Pushing those buttons is guaranteed to result in a reaction that won’t impress anyone.
Being difficult, especially if it gets us what we want now and then, can easily become addictive. If the behavior works we’ll use it again, and again, and again.
So we need to differentiate between difficult behavior and difficult people. They are certainly not the same; and how we recognize the difference will determine our success or failure on any given project.
For strategic purposes, there are 11 types of difficult people. They are the:
- Snipers
- Exploders
- Sherman Tanks
- Complainers
- Negativists
- Know-It-Alls
- Non-Responsives
- Pretenders
- Super Agreeables
- Indecisives
- The Externally Empowereds
Next week we will look at dealing with “Snipers”.